For
Iranians marriage is considered to be an event, which must be
celebrated not quietly but with glory and distinction. It is the most
conspicuous of all the rituals and must be celebrated in the presence of
an assembly, which can bear witness to the event.
In the ancient times, the musicians playing at marriage gatherings
used drums to announce the marriage to the people of the town or
village. The group that gathered for the marriage was called the
assembly “Anjoman” for the queenly bride.
Traditionally, both the bride and the bridegroom would dress in white
with wreaths of flower on their necks, something similar to the
Hawaiian Lei. These wreaths of flower are still worn in modern wedding
ceremonies in Pakistan (which used to be part of the great Persian
Empire), but it is eliminated from the Iranian wedding ceremony. The
color white is a symbol of purity, innocence and faithfulness. Today
most modern Iranian couples follow the western dress code and style.
There are two stages to a Persian marriage. Most often both take
place on the same day, but occasionally there could be some time between
the two. The first is called “Aghd”, the legal process of getting
married, when both the bride and bridegroom and their guardians sign a
marriage contract. The second stage is “Jashn-e Aroosi”, the actual
feasts and the celebrations, which traditionally lasted from 3 to 7
days.
The ceremony takes place in a specially decorated room with flowers
and a beautiful and elaborately decorated spread on the floor called
“Sofreh-ye Aghd”. Traditionally Sofreh-ye Aghd is set on the floor
facing east, the direction of sunrise (light). Consequently when bride
and bridegroom are seated at the head of Sofreh-ye Aghd they will be
facing “The Light”.
By
custom Aghd would normally take place at bride’s parents/guardians
home. The arrival of the guests, who are to be witnesses to the marriage
of the couple, initiates the wedding ceremony. Traditionally the
couples’ guardians and other elder close family members are present in
the room to greet the guests and guide them to their seats. After all
the guests are seated the bridegroom is the first to take his seat in
the room at the head of Sofreh-ye Aghd. The bride comes afterwards and
joins the bridegroom at the head of Sofreh-ye Aghd. The bridegroom
always sits on the right hand side of the bride. In Zoroastrian culture
the right side designates a place of respect.
The spread that is used on the floor as the backdrop for Sofreh-ye
Aghd was traditionally passed from mother to daughter (or occasionally
son). The spread is made of a luxurious fabric such as “Termeh”
(Cashmere: A rich gold embroidered fabric originally made in Cashmere
from the soft wool found beneath the hair of the goats of Cashmere,
Tibet, and the Himalayas), “Atlas” (Gold embroidered satin) or
“Abrisham” (Silk).
On Sofreh-ye Aghd, the following items are placed:
* Mirror (of fate) “Aayeneh-ye Bakht” and two Candelabras
(representing the bride and groom and brightness in their future) one on
either side of the mirror. The mirror and two candelabras are symbols
of light and fire, two very important elements in the Zoroastrian
culture. When the bride enters the room she has her veil covering her
face. Once the bride sits beside the bridegroom she removes her veil and
the first thing that the bridegroom sees in the mirror should be the
reflection of his wife-to-be.
* A tray of seven multi-colored herbs and spices “Sini-ye
Aatel-O-Baatel” to guard the couple and their lives together against the
evil eye, witchcraft and to drive away evil spirits. This tray consists
of seven elements in seven colors:
1. Poppy Seeds “Khash-Khaash” (to break spells and witchcraft)
2. Wild Rice “Berenj”
3. Angelica “Sabzi Khoshk”
4. Salt “Namak” (to blind the evil eye)
5. Nigella Seeds “Raziyaneh”
6. Black Tea “Chaay”
7. Frankincense “Kondor” (to burn the evil spirits)
* A specially baked and decorated flatbread “Noon-e Sangak” with
blessing “Mobaarak-Baad” written in calligraphy on it. The writing is
usually with either saffron “Zaffaron”, cinnamon, Nigella seeds, or
glitters. This symbolizes prosperity for the feasts and for the couple’s
life thereafter. A separate platter of this flat bread, feta cheese and
fresh herbs are also present to be shared with the guests after the
ceremony, to bring the new couple happiness and prosperity.
* A basket of decorated eggs and a basket of decorated almonds, walnuts and hazelnuts in the shell to symbolize fertility.
* A basket of pomegranates and/or apples for a joyous future.
Pomegranates are considered heavenly fruits and apples symbolize the
divine creation of mankind.
* A cup of rose water extracted from special Persian roses “Gol-e Mohammadi” to perfume the air.
* A bowl made out of crystallized sugar “Kaas-e Nabaat/Shaakh-e Nabaat” to sweeten life for the newly wed.
* A brazier “Manghal” holding burning coals sprinkled with wild rue
“Espand” a popular incense. Wild rue is used in many Zoroastrian
ceremonies, rituals and purification rites. It is believed to keep the
evil eye away and bring on plenty of health.
* A bowl of gold coins representing wealth and prosperity.
* A scarf or shawl made out of silk or any other fine fabric to be
held over the bride and bridegroom’s head throughout the ceremony by
various happily married female relatives (mostly bride’s close family
members).
* Two sugar cones “Kalleh Ghand” made out of hardened sugar to be
used during the ceremony. These sugar cones are grinded together above
the bride and bridegroom’s head (over the scarf held above their heads)
throughout the ceremony to shower them in sugar (symbolizing sweetness
and happiness).
* A cup of honey to sweeten life. Immediately after the couple is
married they each should dip one pinky finger in the cup of honey and
feed it to the other one.
* A needle and seven strands of colored thread to figuratively sew up
the mother-in-law’s lips from speaking unpleasant words to the bride!
The shawl that is held above the couple’s head throughout the ceremony
is sewed in one corner by the needle and threads.
* A copy of Koran “Ghoraan-e Majid” (the Moslem’s holy book) opened
in the middle and placed on the spread. This symbolizes God’s blessing
for the couple. Traditionally “Avesta” the ancient Zoroastrian holy book
was present during the ceremony and readings were made from it.
Eventually Koran replaced Avesta after Iran became a Moslem nation.
*
A prayer carpet/kit “Jaa-Namaaz” spread open in the center of Sofreh-ye
Aghd to remind the couple of importance of prayer both at blissful
times and times of hardship. This prayer kit includes a small rug
“Sajjaadeh” to be spread on the floor at the time of prayer, a small
cube of molded clay with prayers written on it “Mohr” and a strand of
prayer beads “Tasbih”.
* An assortment of sweets and pastries to be shared with the guests
after the ceremony. The assortment usually includes: Sugar coated almond
strips “Noghl”, Baklava (a sweet flaky Persian pastry “Baaghlavaa”),
Mulberry-almond paste made in the shape of mulberries “Tout”, Rice-flour
cookies “Noon-Berenji”, Chickpea-flour cookies “Noon-Nokhodchi”,
Almond-flour cookies “Noon-Baadoomi”, and Honey roasted almonds “Sohaan
A’sali”.
To those who need friends,
is His Slave and Messenger.
that the Prophet 
said that this Hadeeth is a direct indication that Muharram is the best month for fasting (after Ramadhaan).
The wisdom behind the late prescription of fasting the ninth of Muharram 