Parents are the Gates

Abu Umama (radi Allahu anhu) narrates that a man enquired from the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam): “O Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam)! What are the rights of parents over their offspring?” The Prophet replied: “Your entry into Paradise or Hell depends on your good or bad conduct towards your parents.” [Ibn Majah]

In other words, if you treat them well the gates of Paradise will be opened for you and you will be admitted therein, but if you violate the rights that your parents have over you, the gates of Hell will be opened for you and you will be consigned to serve as fuel for it.

The following is the advice that Abdullah bin Umar gave to Abdullah ibn Abbas (radi Allahu anhuma) regarding how he should treat his parents:

No One is Perfect

Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Let no Mu’min hate a Mu’minah: if he hate her for one trait in her character, let him be pleased with another that is in her.” [Sahih Muslim]

Love does not mean that we should always agree with or feel good about our partners. A man may like a quality not in his wife, but he should be conscious of the fact that she might have other qualities that are even better.

Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) says that spouses are like clothes for each other. They hide the defects in the body, and beautify the body. Each person wears clothes that are just the right size for their body. So also Allah gave you the spouse just right for you, somebody who complements your strengths and compensates for your weaknesses. Therefore, never compare your partner with others. Somebody else’s clothes may look great on them but terribe on you.

The same applies to the wife regarding her husband. Perfection in humans is only possible in Jannah; it does not exist in humans on earth. So don’t look for it here.