Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “O company of women give alms, and be frequent in asking Allah for pardon, for verily I see you mostly to be people of the Fire.” The women asked, “And what is in us that we are mostly people of the Fire?” Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “You are given much to cursing, and you are thankless to your husbands.” [Sahih Muslim]
It is no small favour to be spared from having to go out in scorching heat or chilling snow everyday to put food on the table. So women should first be thankful to Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) that He has arranged for their needs to be taken care of while they remain in the safety and comfort of their homes. Secondly, their gratitude should be directed towards their husbands whom Allah has made responsible for taking care of their needs. Saved from the extremes of weather and the jostling in public transportation, saved from unsolicited looks and groping hands, saved from having to abandon her babies to day care and smother her maternal instinct; should she not then overlook the shortcomings in her husband and be grateful to him instead?
One form of thanklessness is to keep making new demands. Be grateful for what you have and do not keep on asking for things. Many disputes start from ingratitude. Remember, that it is human nature to give less unless you recognize, appreciate and show contentment with what has already been given to you.
When a woman is offended by her husband, then for the time being she ends up forgetting all the good that he has done for her. A man should know that this is a temporary feeling that will go away soon. Thus, instead of retaliating he should try to soothe her and reassure her of his love for her. Women, on the other hand, must remain courteous and thankful towards their husbands, no matter what.
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